Welcome, I’m Cat, a self-taught artist specializing in multimedia abstract expressionism going by the alias The Existential Nihilist. 

Over the last six years, I have found a niche in what I call abstract portraiture. I paint with the objective of capturing the essence of my collectors, or sometimes a specific relationship, ideology, or transformative experience in their life that they wish to showcase through the movement of both color and texture on large-scale canvases. It is an incredibly personal process, during which I strive to approach the canvas each day with the collector’s intention in mind. Through layers of paint, paste, pumice, and sometimes a slew of other things that make their way into my studio, I create a piece that acts as a mirror, without the need for words or explicit imagery.

In addition to these large scale abstract portraits, which are done by commission only, I also work on personal series and stand alone original pieces. Painting has served as a safe space, an escape, and an active meditation for me since the very first time I put brush to canvas. I have learned over the years that I find the greatest peace and clarity in working with my hands. I while away my happiest hours cooking, boxing, and painting, and the act of creation is at the center of each of them.

In my non-commissioned original art, I often begin without identified intention, and only at the end discover what I was trying to say. One such collection, entitled the Scarred series, came to be when I decided to begin reviving left-for-dead unfinished works. Over a dozen canvases littered my studio floor, and as I fixedly washed each of them in vibrant pink tones, I realized I was striving to illustrate the belief that our scars and imperfections are not something that should be hidden and ignored, but are instead what make us beautiful. In each of these works, the lively tones and vigorous brushwork do not fully cover the layers beneath, considered ugly, and unfit for public consumption, highlighting instead of hiding “failures”, adding both texture and visual depth to the overall effect of each piece, correlating directly to our lives as humans. In another unintentional collection, the Grief series, I explored the complicated beauty of the grieving process. Using modeling paste, pumice, and rich monotones of black paint, each piece demonstrates how grief can look, and feel, a multitude of ways concurrently. At a glance, the black paintings seem like just that – black – but upon closer observation, the peaks, valleys, crevasses, edges, erosion, and continuous movement can be felt almost viscerally. After loss, we continue to move, because we must, but that movement is not linear, and it is through the sometimes hazy, sometimes eroding, sometimes volcanic rage, sadness, numbness, and disbelief that the grieving process truly occurs.

While the style, composition, and tone of my body of work changes with time, experience, and state of mind, at its core I want each of my paintings to express through color, texture, and movement what cannot be defined in words alone. If nothing else, I hope that when my work is seen, it is also felt. Whether entirely new to art or a lifelong collector, I’m happy you’re here. I hope you’ve stumbled upon my site because a piece of my artwork stopped you for half a breath. I hope something spoke to you, or made you wonder if maybe your painting is just on the other side of an inquiry email. I hope this is just our beginning, leading to the day where the thing that you’ve never quite known how to say hangs on your wall. So again, welcome, feel free to stay a while. It’s lovely to almost meet you.